~*~
My friends laughed at me when I told them I was going to London over the summer. Sure my little fan girl obsession with Edward Cullen was kept mainly on the DL, however, they still knew the reason I was going. Well, they liked to tease me about it, telling me that he was the reason I was going anyway.
How is it my fault that I may or may not have had one or two little fantasies where I go to London and we bump into each other on the street and strike up a conversation? Then next thing you know we’re having dinner together and before I know it, he’s whisked me off to a modest, yet lavish country estate where we spend the next couple of weeks ravishing each other constantly.
It’s not my fault and I guarantee you I’m not the only one who’s had those thoughts or wet dreams. I promise you there is definitely more then one person at my office who has a little bit of a crush on Edward Cullen, I’m just brave enough to admit it and put up with the ridicule.
Even though he was three years younger than I am at twenty-six, I couldn’t help the draw I had to him. Sure he was ‘sop him up with a biscuit’ hot, but I knew there was more to him then that. Lately, he had seemed so down and out. He was keeping to himself a lot more lately. He hadn’t been in the limelight for months and the only photographs of him to surface were with his co-star, TDen. Seriously, what kind of nickname is that? Since when are we to lazy to say a full name that we have to shorten it, not that you‘d catch me saying her full name. That is the very same co-star that all the paparazzi seemed insistent he was dating.
I had my doubts though. Who wouldn’t get close to their co-workers after spending months on end with them and being forced into seclusion together? If he was really dating his co-star, and like everyone wanted to assume, fucking her, I have to think he’d look a bit less tense. A bit more relaxed and not so uptight and on edge. So like I said, I had my doubts that he was doing the nasty with her. No one looks that uptight and tense but is getting a little sumptin’ sumptin’ on the side.
Plus, if I really thought he was getting down and dirty with her I’d have to question his sanity. She looked absolutely gorgeous on screen, but off screen, she was a hot mess, minus the hot part. When you got up really close to her pictures, the ones where she’s sans make up, her skin looks like dried up leather that was left in the sun for about a century too long. I wonder what that smells like? I had a friend once who tanned a lot, she smelled like a stale sweaty coconut all of the time. If she looks like this in her twenties I’d hate to see her when she hits thirty, actually you know what I take that back. I’d LOVE to see what she’d look like. She alone will be keeping the Beverly Hills plastic surgeons in business for years to come.
But I’m off topic now.
So I’m off to London for the summer. I’m actually going to stay with one of my friends, Rosalie Hale, who I met through a mutual love of the movies Edward stars in and the books from which they were based. Although, he love isn't so much for Edward Cullen, as it is for one of his co-stars, Emmett McCarty. I have to admit, even though he’s really not my type, I can see the attraction because the man is built like a brick-fucking-house. I just like my muscle a little leaner with an unruly mop of auburn hair on top that looks like it was present for some earth shattering sexin’.
Now I know I said I’m a fan girl but I have to say if I ever saw Edward Cullen walking down the street I’d like to think I’d leave him alone, I hope. I will not be held responsible for any actions my ho-ha might take on my behalf though. I like to think I’d quietly gawk at him, but ultimately, I’d do all my screaming and squealing internally. I hate those girls who think that just because a guy is famous that gives them the right to attack him, and it always seemed like the worse ones were the little tween girls and their moms. Seriously, one is too young to know what to do with it if they had it and the other is just too old. No one wants to see their old saggy tits and worn out cooters, so they can just keep it wrapped up securely in their mom jeans and stop thinking that dressing like their daughter is going to catch his eye.
Now I know what I’ve said, i.e: see above wet dream, but I don’t want you to think that my going to London is some delusional attempt to try and get Edward Cullen. Sure it may have crossed my mind that he might be there around the same time as me, but really I just have always wanted to travel to London. I’ve always said if there’s a place for me to stay then I’ll go anywhere, and now that I know Rose, I have a place to stay, so off I go.
